UPDATES!

Hi All!

I have created an Instagram for chaoticallysmall! Please go follow me on there as well as Facebook.

To find me on Intsagram or Facebook: chaoticallysmall

Also!

I will not be posting from May 29 – June 10. I will be on vacation celebrating my 25th birthday.

But, I will return on June 11.

Thank you all for reading!

c.s.p.

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Cope

The rush of emotions

coming at me like a hungry lion.

I can’t breathe.

That is my only thought.

I can’t breathe and run.

Run so far and so fast.

But looking at me its not going to be far.

so I stay put.

Panicking and struggling to breathe.

I can’t breathe because I miss you everyday.

I think I’m past it but then something reminds me of you and then I am back with the lion.

That is what grief does.

It comes at you heavy and fast.

Hits you like a thousand baseballs.

and it never truly goes away.

You just learn to cope with it.

Survival of The Fittest

Feeling the pressure to succeed

And wanting to amount to something positive

instead of having to be taken care of like a child.

I want to grow but I fear falling

Falling hard and fast and not being able to climb out in time

to survive.

Because the truth is

I’m not sure if I want to survive.

I have always had this gut feeling of dying young.

I think of the future but it has always been hypothetical

Like I won’t live to see it.

and that scares me more than I am willing to admit.