The triumphant one stands,
tall with a crown.
Knowing they accomplished their dreams.
Screw you! to the ones
who didn’t believe.
Victory rings out
the brass ring is yours
No more 3rd place,
It’s hard for me to be vulnerable.
Because I cry alone,
only in front of my reflection.
I was told growing up,
Don’t be emotional
It is a weakness.
But how can that be
when I am human?
As she walked up the stairs, keys in hand
because she knew what lies beyond the door.
Turning the keys.
a bead of sweat rolls down her face
into her bra.
Nervous, she opens the door knowing
that she will be naked,
pinned on the floor,
blooded by them.
Night after night,
She wonders if this is hell.
But the devil is not someone who you love.
When I found out you didn’t believe in the stars,
you became a jellyfish.
Brainless, Spineless, Hopeless.
You believed in nothing,
and burned me with a dunce cap,
put me in a stool,
to star at the corner.
Pathetic, I was.
To think you were a lion
when in fact you were
Authentic was what you wanted.
But when you received it,
you slapped me with lies.
A red hand print across my face,
I continued to be genuine,
even though I have
scars and bruises.
Feel wet with dew and dirt under my nails.
I am reminded of childhood
wanting to fit in but only
digging for treasure.
The Eden I create in my mind,
the roots to my family are seeded in my soul
I will never forgive Mother Earth
for washing away my castle with her tears.
But I will always cry for her when she is in pain.
I get a mental picture of you when I close my eyes.
Green and wonderful.
The thought of you always
enters my brain,
Pulling me toward a happier illusion,
of what we could be.
But it is always a dream.
A fantasy that I have created.
Giving me hope that our relationship is not in the grave.
My self care comes in waves.
a calm ocean and my life is the beach.
Each grain of sand is a life experience I have overcome,
with the waves clumping them into one solid existence.
When storms come, and they always do,
I revert back to the ocean waves.
Even if it’s not too late
I will be
in there waiting for you.